lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
