What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
