You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
jump out the window naked night went bad
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
