the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Dignity is for republicans.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
