Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Randomize
