I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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