Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
