Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
