I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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