But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
