Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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