is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
