i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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