I'm going to jail i love you
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
