ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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