hotel room ftw
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
