you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
