I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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