I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize