you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
