I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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