that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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