Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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