just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
