We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
