What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
