If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
