Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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