Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Randomize