Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Randomize
