Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
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