operation harelip BJ is a go
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
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