FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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