I bet he comes in French.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
We were destined to go to rehab together
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
