Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
