So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
