I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
