i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
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It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
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And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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