Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
