What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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