My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
