so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Hippo gnu deer
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
