Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
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