Whatcha textin bout Willis?
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Randomize
