Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
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