I am in a vortex of obligation.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
pray to the hookup gods
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
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