Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Randomize
