i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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