i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
