Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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