guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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