No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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