She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
