Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize
