Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
