i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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