No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Randomize
