You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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