I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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