I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I can tuck mytits in my pants
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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